13 Jun Solo Travel: A Chance to Re-Connect with Myself

I’ve traveled to five continents, mostly on my own. There are times when I’ve been elated, and times when I’ve been scared. I’ve felt both incredibly lonely and awed by the world we live in. What I appreciate most about solo travel is the chance to reconnect with myself, and with others.

Recently, walking down the side of a freeway in Baja searching for an alleged bus stop, I recalled how many times I’ve found myself rambling down a busy road, in a foreign country, backpack on, trying to get from Point A to Point B. I considered how I’ve made it to my destination every time with relatively no trouble, though with a great deal of uncertainty.

I asked myself why I’m willing to put such easy faith into these blind situations and so little faith in my day-to-day life? Why am I willing to let myself be guided by sheer intuition when there is a myriad of horrible incidents that could possibly occur? How is it possible to trust amidst such high risk? Why do I struggle to hear myself, at home, when the perceived risk of failure and danger is lower? Or, maybe the risk is higher because I create pressure to get all of life “right” – money, relationships, career – instead of simply moving to the next destination.

Trusting myself

I love traveling because I rely on my inner voice more. I thrive on moments of unadulterated intuition that I normally water down. Likely for the sake of fitting in or at least not rocking the boat too much. At times I amaze myself at the concentration of clarity I experience when I travel. When nomadic, I depend on myself. I must trust myself and have greater faith in the people around me or I would be a heap of nerves, incapacitated on the side of the road. I also create fewer distractions for myself. Usually, my daily life pulls my focus in a million different directions, often obscuring my own inner voice. When I have one task – to survive – I find it easier to trust myself, to just Be.

Sometimes I experience discomfort or a palpable ickiness listening to my Self after the distraction has left. I realize that I’ve been avoiding thoughts, emotions, and situations. Simply acknowledging the din though allows me the potential to accept facets of my life that may need attention or change. Removing the noise and replacing a busy routine with spaciousness, provides an opportunity to cultivate compassion for myself while I figure out how to do better upon returning home.

Solo Travel Inspires Growth

In Pico Iyer’s podcast “The Urgency of Slowing Down,” he mentions that “we don’t so much travel to move physically, but to move ourselves emotionally”. I resonate with this. Travel means experiencing the full spectrum of my Self. I get to make friends with my spontaneous bits and my sad bits. I rediscover my light, I sit with my darkness. Travel is a challenge and a privilege. Continually putting myself in new situations catalyzes growth in a more concentrated dose, with all of its pains and its pleasurable sense of expansion.

This getting to know myself isn’t always possible when I travel with other people. For me, solo travel is a very unique type of intimacy, not unlike meditation. I may wander off with new people or down unfamiliar streets, or within my own mind, but I always must come back.

Recently, traveling alone, I experienced a sense of surrender. I came to the realization that the only way forward in life is a repeated practice of letting go. By opening up to parts of myself that I don’t necessarily love or understand yet, I create space in my daily life for growth and curiosity instead of wasting energy on judging or suppressing myself. I find it easier to look at all of myself when not everyone else I know is looking too.

Ironically, travel time is cave time even though I am completely exposed. I can be more honest about my suffering and my dreams with strangers. I have experienced this with other travelers too. Certain conversations can only happen due to a level of anonymity. There is less judgment because fellow travelers, especially solo travelers, are living outside of the box too. They are trying to do themselves differently, and often, on an unconventional path.

A lot of people ask me for “tips” about traveling in general and also about traveling alone as a female. These are some of the benefits and the disadvantages I perceive as part of the solo travel experience.

5 benefits

1. I empower and liberate myself, throwing off the shackles of “can’t” or “shouldn’t”
2. I’m more approachable – I meet more local people because I’m not buffered by another person or a group, which can make the difference between an authentic experience and a tourist experience
3. People are wanting and willing to help me, in part, because I’m by myself
4. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want
5. I get to know my Self better; become more self-reliant and learn to take things in stride

5 Disadvantages

1. For me, loneliness does strike – especially in countries with strong language barriers.
2. I get tired when I don’t have someone to share the daily tasks with – i.e. navigating (food, buses, trains, taxis), negotiating, decision-making, safety consciousness. 
3. “Shareable” moments arise and amplify loneliness/aloneness.
4. I’m vulnerable – men bother you more, I can’t always go out at night, there’s no one to look after me if I get sick (though in my experience, locals have always helped me out).
5. Costs can be higher as an individual.

Overall, when it comes to travel, I adopt a similar philosophy to “it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”. It is better to have traveled than to never have traveled at all. Even if on occasion it means getting lost, sleeping in an airport, or suffering a bout of food poisoning. The positive memories, the people, and the learning about other cultures will always outweigh the negative. For me, to travel is to feel alive!